September 3, 2023 ~ 14th Sunday after Pentecost
Rev. Beckie Sweet ~ Cultivating God’s Love in Humanity
During my lifetime, a popular trend in home décor was to post a set of “house rules.” Posters, framed pictures, printing on wood or stone, even counted cross-stitch or needlepoint would articulate rules that should be followed for the harmonious functioning of the household. Typically, the short list of rules would start with something like:
- If you open it, close it.
- If you make a mess, clean it up.
- If you take it out, put it back.
- … and so on…
Often the list would end with, “If it cries, love it.” These were handy, helpful advice for people trying to live together with less conflict, and more respect.
Of course, these wall hangings were not by any means the first such lists of rules for respectful living. We can harken back to the 10 Commandments from the Old Testament for an ancient example. God delivered to Moses 10 rules for those trying to live faithfully as children of God, and respectfully as members of a healthy community. Some Christian traditions still recite the 10 Commandments each time they share Holy Communion. If we read or recite such rules often, they become committed to memory and internalized in one’s being and behavior.
Also in the Old Testament, we find the book of Proverbs with lists of insights concerning how to act in different situations. They even list the wise sayings of Solomon.
When I was young, we had John Wesley’s rules on a plaque in our camp bathroom:
Do all the good you can, by all the means you can,
in all the ways you can, in all the places you can,
at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.
In today’s scripture text from Romans, chapter 12, Paul creates a list of rules for Christ-centered relationship, which he develops from Jesus’ own teachings. British Bible scholar F.F. Bruce suggested that these verses may have been a sort of “pocket catechism”, meaningful enough that every new Christian should learn them, yet brief enough that they could be committed to memory. (Remember when we used to memorize scripture?!?)
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil; hold fast to what is good; 10 love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not lag in zeal; be ardent in spirit; serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; persevere in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints; pursue hospitality to strangers.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another; do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. 18 If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beautiful, lyrical sentiments, to be sure. Some of these sound so familiar and obvious, that one might wonder why they needed to be written down at all. But like those household rules on the posters, even though everyone should know “if you open it, close it”, it’s never a bad idea to have those obvious things about relationships and accountability in big bold letters where everyone can see it. Similarly, it’s not a bad idea for us, as a community of faith, to hear the basics one more time, perhaps stated in different ways.
In verses 9 & 10, Paul uses two different Greek words to speak about love. You may remember that in Greek, there are four different words for “love,” agape, philos, eros, and storge. First Paul directs, “Let love (agape) be genuine…” Agape is a high form of love, often used to describe God’s love for people. Paul uses it here to describe our love for others, corresponding to the love of God for humankind; it is an unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; a love that desires the best for the other.
In the next verse Paul says, “love (philos) one another with mutual affection…” Philos refers to a sibling love or a family love. If we allow God’s Spirit to guide us to make this kind of love our motivation, we will find an overwhelming concern for the other’s well-being and future happiness. Members of healthy families know each other’s warts, short-comings, and history, but love each other anyway. In the healthy family is a place where family members can speak frankly, be vulnerable, and seek refuge when trouble looms.
Christians are members of their nuclear families (father, mother, brothers, sisters), but are also members of their Christian family, with whom sharing philos is a great source of comfort and strength.
Eugene Peterson paraphrases these two imperatives concerning loving Christian relationships by stating: Love from the center of who you are … Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
I hope and pray that we each have a few people in our lives who fit that description, and for whom we fit that description. They have been good friends and have loved us deeply. Think about those individuals, or that group of precious friends. They have loved you through good times. They, likely, have loved you through challenging times, and they have loved you through all of the mediocre times in between. They have loved you when you have been easy to love, and they have loved you even more profoundly when you have been far from lovable.
They have loved you when you have been sitting on top of the world or in the depths of despair. It is hard to imagine what life would be like if they had not decided to love you deeply. From the deepest place in our hearts, we thank God for these persistent, patient, wise, and deeply loving friends. These are the ones who sometimes are in the shadows while another is in the spotlight. The ones who offer encouragement, believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself, and protect you from unseen dangers. They played second fiddle while cheering you on, being merciful, and offering you grace, as Christ has offered us grace.
Christ’s love is the glue that holds strong friendships together, even in hard and uncertain times. True friends are in for the long haul. Even when you don’t call, they come.
I read a story in June of 2020 about a retired UPS worker who, after going to the hospital with COVID, was diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer and transferred to a nursing home for end-of-life care. You may remember that nursing homes were exceptionally lonely places during the isolation of Covid-19 as no visitors were allowed inside, and the number of staff was drastically diminished. This fellow plummeted into deep depression.
Then, on a 90 degree day, he looked out of his window and saw six of his former co-workers standing in the mid-day heat. He opened the window (a no-no back then), and love flowed through their expressions and conversation. The co-workers just could not bear to allow their cherished friend to suffer alone.
Friends are willing to take the initiative, reach out to others, ask questions and listen, be patient and kind, be respectful and serve. God created us as social, emotional beings. God designed friendship to be caring, loving, and to reach out beyond the circle of friendship to treat all others as we would hope to be treated. It is in that sincere spirit of love and friendship that we find a genuine and strong basis for peace. Christ binds human hearts together in that deep love. Amen.