July 21, 2024 ~ Ninth Sunday after Pentecost
Rev. Beckie Sweet
Do you ever get so busy you can’t think straight? You get so caught up in putting out fires and dealing with emergencies, misunderstandings, clarifying policies, etc… that there is just no time left for the really important things, like spending time with your family, or taking care of your own needs, or spending quality time with Jesus.
I was raised to be a Martha. In life in general, I was taught that one should only have the luxury of play time after all of one’s work had been completed. One should only sit down, even to visit with another, after completing one’s chores, schoolwork, volunteer or work obligations, and responsibilities for offering hospitality. When friends, family, or other guests would come to our home, the expectation was that I would help in the kitchen with preparations prior to engaging in conversations that were more than just a greeting. And then, as soon as a meal was completed, I would focus on the clean-up. That was the pattern of my life going into adulthood. I thought that as I had been taught, caring for the urgency of WORK needs was more important and of higher value than being present enough to have a quality, unhurried conversation with others, even with family. I was far into my career and adulthood before I realized that slowing the pace, engaging in meaningful conversations, and inviting others to share the workload when they are ready to do so would bring great rewards.
We have all had moments of being distracted by our busyness and preoccupations ~ even in the church. Sometimes our commitment to committee meetings prevents us from taking the gospel out into the community in witness or in mission. Sometimes we are so preoccupied with all of the rules and policies that we neglect to show compassion for the most vulnerable or the hurting among us. We can be distracted by obligations, expectations, and responsibilities and we can miss opportunities to enjoy relationships and simply be in the moment. We often especially miss out on opportunities to be with those closest to us because we take for granted that our loved ones will always be there. They simply form part of the background of our lives, or we put off spending quality time with them until “everything else is done”
So, what can we learn from this story about Jesus’ encounter with Martha and Mary?
Hospitality was exceedingly important in the biblical world in general, and in Luke’s gospel in particular. When Jesus comes to Bethany, Martha demonstrates hospitality by inviting and welcoming Jesus into the home she shares with her sister, Mary. She then busies herself with the tasks of serving their honored guest and those traveling with Jesus. Although we are not told precisely what those tasks are, a good guess is that she began preparing a meal to serve to the small crowd.
Meanwhile, Martha’s sister, Mary, sits at Jesus’ feet, listening to his words: storytelling and teaching. Rather than assuming the role expected of women in her culture, she takes her place at the feet of Jesus. Mary assumes the posture of a student learning at the feet of a rabbi, a role traditionally reserved for men. Many who read or hear this story may cheer for Mary in her inversion of traditional roles. Many may also empathize with Martha’s resentment of her sister for leaving Martha to do all the work!
This idyllic scene takes a sharp turn when Martha, distracted by her many tasks, comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” Jesus’ response to Martha seems less than empathetic, chiding her for her distraction and worry, and praising Mary. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”
The problem with Martha is not that she is busy serving and providing hospitality. Certainly, Jesus commends this kind of service to the neighbor many times. The problem with Martha is not her serving, but rather that she is worried and distracted, made anxious by the expectations she has placed on herself and her sister. Martha’s distraction and worry leave no room for the most important aspect of hospitality – gracious attention to the guest. In fact, Martha breaks all the rules of hospitality by trying to embarrass her sister in front of their guest, and by asking her guest to intervene in a family dispute. She even goes so far as to accuse Jesus of not caring about her.
Martha’s worry and distraction prevent her from being truly present with Jesus, and cause her to drive a wedge between her sister and herself, and between Jesus and herself. Martha has missed out on the “One thing needed” for true hospitality. There is no greater hospitality than listening to your guest. Jesus reassures Martha that Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.
In a culture of hectic schedules and the relentless pursuit of productivity, we are tempted to measure our worth by how busy we are, by how much we accomplish, or by how well we meet the expectations of others. It is true that often much of our busyness and distractions stem from the noblest of intentions. We want to provide for our families, we want to give our children every opportunity to enrich their lives, we want to serve our neighbors, and yes, we want to serve the Lord. Indeed, where would the church be without its “Marthas,” those faithful folk who perform the tasks of hospitality and service so vital to making the church a welcoming and well-functioning community?
And yet, if all our activities leave us with no time to be fully present with family, or to be still in the Lord’s presence and hear God’s word, we are likely to end up anxious and troubled. We are likely to end up with a kind of service/activity/work that is devoid of love and joy and is resentful of others. BOTH listening and doing, receiving God’s Word and serving others, are vital to the Christian life, just as inhaling and exhaling are to breathing. Yet, how often do we forget to breathe deeply?
Within our families, we all have roles. In this scripture, Martha’s role within her family is more activity oriented. She actively serves within her home and family, and in her community. Mary’s role is more contemplative, to have quiet time with Jesus. By becoming overly focused on her role, Martha has missed an opportunity to not only connect with Jesus, but also with her sister. The point of this story is not that we should be still and listen 100% of the time. Rather, when we are willing to think critically about our roles, we need not always get caught up in them. We can be intentional about when it is important to prioritize other things, particularly time with those closest to us, and those with whom we would like to nurture deeper relationships.
This is a new opportunity to look at what roles we have in our families and communities, even as we recognize the roles of others. If we find ourselves distracted or dissatisfied, maybe this is the time to change the ways we usually interact with family. There will be times when we will have a chance to nurture new relationships, or deepen existing relationships. There will be opportunities to share in service, working side by side with others. But too often we default to our usual roles! The priorities we create for interaction in our families, as well as our family of faith, will be different from time to time.
So, how might we grow in our appreciation of how others serve?
How can we join our gifts together to better serve Christ?
How might we experiment with doing something outside of our ordinary roles so we can experience Jesus more fully and in different ways?
This week, as you go about your many tasks, Christ invites you to focus your attention on the one thing you need in deepening your relationship with Jesus and with your family. You don’t need to beat yourself up for being less like Mary than you think you ought to be. Whether you are working hard or sitting in contemplation, do it for Jesus and for those you love. Jesus is here for you. Let’s continue to create families of loving care.